You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When are your genitals available?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
