How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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