maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
