super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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