i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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