My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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