i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
