"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
