I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
