Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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