that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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