all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
