forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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