is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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