Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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