Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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