So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
