so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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