He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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