I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
