he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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