We're like a lot better than the average bears
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
