we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
