It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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