Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Shame - the story of my life.
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