We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
