Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
