nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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