1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
