the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
