During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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