Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
