FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
