Don't you send me to vm
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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