just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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