The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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