I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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