oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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