She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
