she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize