But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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