okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I supernannyed him into submission
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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