you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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