i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize