No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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