I can't watch pbs sober anymore
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize