When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
