My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize