The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
