I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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