Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My vagina just recognized that song.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
