goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
