How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize