Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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