omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
As shirtless as possible
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
