I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize