Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
