we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
